Hold Me Tight
Hold Me Tight is my reconciliation with aging. I recently turned 40, and this project has been my version of a midlife crisis. I began this project when I turned thirty-eight; it was the first time I started feeling dread about my birthdays. I was approaching forty quickly, which meant crossing the threshold into middle age. Reaching this milestone continues to stir complex feelings. My perception of myself as a young woman no longer matches the person I see in the mirror.
Through this project, I’m coping with the loss of my youth by reliving it through staged images.
These performative self-portraits are my way of articulating my experience with growing older. Both females in the images are me. I photograph myself multiple times and then stitch the images together to create an exchange between past and present. By duplicating myself within the image, I imagine going on a journey with my former self. Embracing her, I tried to hold onto the feeling of her. The scenes I create through this process conjure memories of my younger days. I’m giving myself a space to play and re-experience that ephemeral spirit of youth while I mourn its loss. I portray both versions of myself the same to express the idea that it is my present self revisiting a memory.
Gennaio 03, 2020